Once again I find myself bawling, sitting here in front of the screen trying to find out how to run away, start all over again.
Once again I am reminded like a slap in the face that I will never be a mother.
The wife of a friend just announced that she is pregnant. And instead of being happy for her, I am wracked with pain, with a feeling of being incomplete. A failure. While I should be congratulating her, I am instead wallowing in my own little hell.
When will I get over this? When will I ever just accept the fact that motherhood is not in my future?
Will I ever be ok with it? Will I ever be content with all of the wonderful things that my life is made up of?
Why am I so horrible?
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